I stumbled across some old drawings from the children the
other day that made me stop and think about what is really important in my life.
For the first time in a while, I quit feeling sorry for myself about not
finding a job and being flat broke. I decided to even pat myself on the back
and admit that I have done pretty well for myself despite the hand I was dealt.
I don’t see myself as a materialistic person. I try not to
measure my success by the size of my bank account. But sometimes I feel like a
total loser for not having a full-time job. Unemployment is beginning to wear
on me and affect my self-confidence.
I’m worried that I won’t be able to follow through on my
financial obligations and I’m even more worried that I am going to become a
very large burden on my very sweet husband. I know he can handle it, but I like
to think of myself as an asset and not dead weight.
But those little pictures made me remember that I am not a
loser and that no matter what happens in my professional life, there are people
in my personal life who will always love me. And while I really need that
steady paycheck and health insurance, I will gladly settle for little reminders
from two very special children who will always think I am the greatest mom
ever.
So my advice today is to forget about your professional
aspirations and accomplishments or your failure to reach those aspirations. Take
comfort in the fact that being a good person far outweighs the tiny print on
your business cards. Find a way to make peace with a dwindling bank account,
gray hair, and an old worn-out minivan.
Luckily the world is not over yet. I still have time to make
those career goals come to life, but for now, it’s just not working. The stress
is beginning to take a toll my health. I’m taking a break from the chaos and
the rejections and focusing on the things that I have control over. I’m going
to sit back and soak in the fact that I have made a difference in people’s
lives and that is worth more than a big title on my resume.
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