Back in the Saddle

I started a new job last week and another new job yesterday. It’s funny to see that I am back in the newspaper world again. I thought I would never go back.

I minored in journalism as an undergrad and I worked at our school newspaper. I loved the rush of going out to get a story and the panic of trying to pump out the right words before deadline.

After college, I worked as a copy editor and reporter while we lived in Fairbanks, Alaska. We moved to another state in 1999. I was pregnant with Veronica, so I left the newspaper biz and never looked back.

Reporting and copy editing can be very stressful. Sitting at a desk and scrolling through story after story about murder, deadly accidents, natural disasters and contagious diseases can wear you down after a while.

By the time I quit the paper, I was done with that lifestyle and ready to move on to something else. When I went back to school a few years ago, I purposely stayed away from the newspaper world. I thought my future would be better served in public relations or magazine writing.

What I discovered was that I enjoy reporting and that I don’t have to get bogged down in the serious side of news to work in news. When I was in my 20s, I felt smug around the older ladies at the paper who focused on feature writing and entertainment stories, but now I am one of those older ladies.

Perhaps it’s because I have children now or maybe I’m just too tired to be bothered with hard news? It doesn’t really matter because in the end, I came back to what I was meant to do.

The universe is complicated. I don’t try to understand it any more. The more I try to fight destiny, the harder life becomes. I am old enough to know this fact, but yet I keep forgetting.

I’m glad I was drawn back to a life that makes me feel comfortable with who I am and what I am. I still panic when I am up against a deadline, but I don’t feel emotionally washed out when I turn off my computer for the day.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again—life is weird. Just when you think you have it figured out it turns around and proves you wrong.

I’ve given up trying to figure out what I was meant to be. I choose to just try to find a way to be happy with what I am given and to try to get better as time moves along.

Who knows what next month will be like or what next year will bring? I am almost afraid to ask the question out loud, but I know it doesn’t matter. Whatever is meant to happen will happen and I need to just enjoy the ride and stop fighting the universe.