Saturday, May 21, 2011

I have a date to the prom

My senior prom with my
brother David (1993)

So, for the first time in almost 20 years I can finally say, "I have a date to the prom!" Mr. EHarmony is a special ed teacher at a local high school and he was sweet enough to ask me to be his date. Luckily he asked in a text message so he couldn't hear me squeal in excitement.

I don't get the chance to get dressed up and hang out with adults in a social setting often (if ever). I'm normally a pretty laid back person but for some reason I'm so excited about going to prom and I can't wait until tonight.

Last night Mr. EHarmony and I reminisced on proms of our youth. I told him the story about how I went with the superintendent’s son one year. First of all, the superintendent and his wife (who was the bitchy secretary at the junior high) were like Ward and June Cleaver--if the Cleavers were older, rude, and duller.

Dueling prom dates

I had to stand in the photo line by myself while he posed for pictures with his parents. His mom kept patting his face and telling him he was so handsome. I saw images of them owning a creepy motel in the desert together.

 This awkward moment paled in comparison to the fact that my ex-boyfriend was standing behind me making out with his new girlfriend and the large corsage on her hand kept messing up the back of my hair.

I'm sure this couple whipped out
 some wicked break dancing moves
 I was not-so-pleasantly surprised to know that my date's mother and father would be sitting at our table all night.

 "Don't the chaperones have their own table?" I asked him. "Yeah, but I was afraid Mom and Dad would be bored sitting there so I asked them to sit with us." I didn't even bother to act like it was a sweet gesture.

While this story makes for a funny tale, it also marked the beginning of my quest to date "bad boys." So the next year I went to the prom with a guy who ditched his "sissy" tux and wore torn jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket.
We only stayed at the prom for about 30 minutes because the whole scene was so lame to him. "That's why I dropped out of this place," he said.  
I was not aware it
 was time for PETA prom again

Apparently, being around high school kids made him need to get really high with his boys. He dropped me off at my house at 9:30 and I spent the rest of the night watching cartoons with my little brothers. I had to admit that I had more fun with Young Norman Bates the year before--being cool was overrated.

I didn't know Beyonce's mom
 made prom dresses

I'm sure tonight will be my prom redemption night. I don't foresee creepy parents crashing our party or being dropped off early. But I do foresee a lot of bad dance moves and tacky outfits, because that's what prom is really all about.


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