“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 NIV
Writing this blog and putting the truth out there for everyone to see has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. But it has freed me from the chains of secrecy and shame.
I used to have a lot of secrets and I was very sick because of those secrets. I felt tired all of the time and I eventually had to be treated for stomach ulcers. Now that I have been able to slowly shed myself of those secrets, I feel better than ever.
It has taken me over a year to get to the point where I don’t breakout in a full sweat when I want to be honest with someone. Now I find it hard to “fake it” and I find myself saying, “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but I have to be honest…”
I know I will have to continually remind myself that I am only as sick as my secrets. Coveting secrets and living in shame is a hard habit to break.
I thought the truth would set me free immediately—but I soon learned that these things take time. When I first learned about my ex’s secret life, I was devastated. I wished I had never found out the truth.
But here I sit—2 years, 10 months, and 14 days later and I can honestly say that the truth did set me free. The secrets that destroyed our marriage and the secrets that I chose to continue to carry with me made me sick—physically and mentally.
I have also discovered that this new-found honesty I display makes it impossible for my ex to control me. So now I know that I am free—free from control and free of fear. I am now free to live my life the way it was meant to be lived.