Monday, December 31, 2012

Good bye for now...

It’s New Year’s Eve and I guess it’s time to reflect on another year. I don’t think I reflect as much as I used to, but it’s probably because I don’t feel the need to.

I used to have to reflect at least once a month to see how far I had come in my life. I really don’t even remember the person I used to be a few years ago. I’m almost embarrassed at the person I used to be, but it’s a reality that I cannot hide.

I get small glimpses of the person I must have been whenever I have a run-in with my ex. We’ve had a few of those lately with the holidays. He becomes very demanding when he doesn’t get his way and makes demands without even flinching for a second.

I sit back and almost laugh a little and think to myself, “Was there ever a time in my life when people thought they could talk to me like that I would instantly fold and give in?”

The answer is “yes.” I just don’t remember that old me that used to give in and fold every time someone stomped their foot or made me feel uncomfortable. It’s sad to think I used to live that way for so many years.

I know we have to hit rock bottom sometimes to get to where we are destined to be in life. I hope that my rock bottom was 2009 and that there are no more rock bottoms waiting for me down the road. I truly feel that I am now living the life I was destined to live and I am thankful for that rock bottom that nearly destroyed me.

I am also thankful I started this blog a few years ago. I needed to write about my life and be honest with the rest of the world in order to move forward. I needed to connect with other people in the world who knew how I felt so I could quit thinking no one would ever understand me.

I started this blog to tell a story and to connect with other people like me. I feel that I have accomplished that task. I also feel it is time to move on to something else.

So, for now, I’m going to put my time into something else that will continue to help me move forward with my life. I’m going to finish writing the book I started over the summer. It is over half-way done and I know it will take all of my focus to complete.

I think we all have a story to tell. I think God blessed me with the ability to write for a reason. I need to honor that gift.

I hope you all will continue to write back to me and tell me your stories. I hope we all make it through this next year without another reason to bottom out.

But if we do find ourselves in another situation where we have to completely let go in order to find our true destiny, I hope we don’t do it quietly.

Thank you for taking the time to read my words. God bless and safe travels.

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